The Coercive Control Survival System:
Two courses that train you to identify and document abuse and control, build your case to protect your children, and regain your power.
$425 in bonuses for signing up for both courses.
Regain your Power
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Advocate for your Children
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Build a Powerful Case
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Find Clarity
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Challenge Abuse and Control
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Regain your Power • Advocate for your Children • Build a Powerful Case • Find Clarity • Challenge Abuse and Control •
“Taking Mei-Ling’s course was a transformative experience. As both a survivor and someone who works professionally with protective mothers navigating the legal system, this training was not only validating personally—it was empowering professionally.
The course helped me put a name to many of the tactics I experienced and have witnessed in my clients’ cases. Coercive control is often invisible to outsiders and difficult to articulate, especially in court. Mei-Ling’s training broke these dynamics down in a way that was accessible, evidence-based, and practical.
One of the biggest takeaways for me was realizing how many victims struggle to describe their abuse simply because they don’t have the language or framework. This training made it clear how vital it is to give survivors tools to name their experiences. The toolkit workbook is equally impactful—structured, easy to follow, and trauma-informed.
I would highly recommend this training to any protective mother, advocate, or professional working in family court system. This training is something that I believe can change how coercive control is recognized, understood, and ultimately addressed in legal proceedings.”
Our Courses
A Special Collaborative Offering from Dr. Mei-Ling Ellerman & Courtney Gilmartin
Where knowledge brings you clarity, and evidence lets you gain back control.
Are you coming out of a relationship feeling confused, misunderstood, frustrated, and afraid of what will come next?
Did you think that ending the relationship would finally stop the abuse, only to find it has followed you in new and insidious forms? Do you now feel overwhelmed, unheard, and discredited by the Family Court system, or even your own attorney?
And all the while, are you fighting a constant storm of false allegations and “walking on eggshells,” while the other parent twists your lived experience into a weapon against you?
For the first time, renowned coercive control expert and Brandeis University researcher, Dr. Mei-Ling Ellerman, is joining forces with Courtney Gilmartin, protective mother and founder of Monarch Consulting Group.
Together, they have created a two-part masterclass designed to arm you with the foundational knowledge to understand the abuse and the practical, step-by-step method to prove it with indisputable evidence.
Grounded in knowledge and armed with proof, it’s time to reclaim your power and your peace.
Course 1
In order to defeat your opponent, you must first understand their playbook. Because coercive control is a subtle and often misunderstood form of abuse, many legal professionals lack the deep training to identify its patterns. Relying solely on others to build your narrative is not only expensive but often misses the mark.
This foundational 5-class course is designed to train you to be the expert in your own case.
By gaining a thorough understanding of the abusive parent’s tactics, you will be able to create a clear and accurate narrative, save thousands in legal fees, and confidently guide the professionals working on your behalf. You will learn to put a name to the abuse, create firm psychological boundaries, and understand the abuser’s overarching strategy.
In Course 1, you will learn to:
● Identify the full spectrum of coercive control tactics used against you and your children.
● Recognize the signs of trauma in yourself and your children that demonstrate the harm being caused.
● Decode how abusers control children and escalate their tactics post-separation to isolate them from you.
● Understand the “big picture” strategy of how abusers manipulate systems like courts and schools to push their false narrative.
● Name and counteract tactics like DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) that are designed to discredit and disempower you.
Participants will receive:
● The Challenging Coercive Control Toolkit Workbook which retails for $69
● Detailed PPT slides from each class
● Examples of coercive control
● Bonus worksheets completed in class, which help participants think through their own lived experiences
Course 2
The second course is taught by Courtney Gilmartin.
Once you can identify and better understand the tactics of coercive control, the next step is to translate that insight into compelling evidence. Abusers thrive on chaos and seek to destabilize you so they can remain in control, but the one thing they cannot manipulate is clear, factual evidence.
In this hands-on, 2-part workshop you will learn how to transform your lived experiences into a clear, organized, and compelling case file. The Monarch Method creates a solid foundation built on indisputable evidence that grounds your case in facts, not fear, allowing you to systematically refute false allegations and regain control of your narrative.
In Course 2, you will learn to:
● Apply the A.I.D. Method™ and transform incidents into powerful, court-ready evidence.
● Systematically dismantle false allegations with an organized, evidence based timeline.
● Build and maintain a centralized Case Hub to strategically manage all your case documentation.
● Communicate more effectively and with less conflict, both in co-parenting and with legal professionals.
● Streamline the legal process and reduce costs by becoming an indispensable, organized partner in your own case.
The Investment
Enrolling in both courses in the masterclass is a commitment to yourself and your children.
To honor that commitment, we’ve included an exclusive bonus package.
● Course 1: The Foundation — Challenging Coercive Control $599
● Course 2: From Chaos to Clarity: A Strategic Documentation Workshop $299
Exclusive Bonus Package
When you enroll in the both courses, you will receive over $425 in strategic tools and resources, absolutely free:
● Free Admission to the Protective Orders Workshop $175 Value
○ A live, deep-dive workshop with Dr. Ellerman that teaches you how to prepare for the courtroom, write a strong affidavit, and plan for your safety. Attend any session that fits your schedule, she will teach at least 4 per year.
● Protective Order Guide valued at $50
○ Tips to help you prepare to apply for a restraining order.
● Over 200 Talking Points $100 Value
○ Versatile, court-ready phrases and statements to use in various legal and co-parenting situations.
● A Strategic Guide to Your Narrative $50 Value
○ A high-level guide to help you weave the evidence you’ve gathered into a powerful and impactful story for the court.
● Language Guidelines $50 Value
○ A quick reference guide for using powerful, objective language that the court can hear.
Total Value: $1,300
Your Investment: $898
Course 1:
Challenging Coercive Control
Dr. Ellerman, coercive control expert, legislative advocate, and Brandeis University researcher on domestic abuse and coercive control designed this 5-class course to rapidly teach women about coercive control.
Course Description
You will learn how to:
● Put a name to and identify the tactics the abusive parent has used against you and the children since the start of the relationship. This will help you to create a firm psychological boundary, so you don’t need to wonder about the other parent’s motivations and intentions, or whether you are at all to blame. This will create clarity, and cut down on the psychological stress and trauma.
● Identify a large range of trauma symptoms and responses for both adults and children, which demonstrate the harmful impact of coercive control.
● Understand coercive control over the children, which is frequently insidious, escalates post-separation, and isolates the children from their protective parent. This approach is also used to control the mother post-separation and keep her from being able to fully advocate for herself and the children.
● Understand the big picture, how an abusive parent changes tactics post-separation, gaining influence and credibility in different venues such as Family Court or the schools so that their false narrative is believed. This will help you to plan counter-strategies and regain your voice.
● Understand DARVO and other approaches that are used to isolate and disempower you.
● Create a clear narrative of your and your children’s experiences, which can be adapted to help protect them in different situations, with the help of the Workbook.
Knowledge is power, and only by gaining a thorough understanding of coercive control and its impacts pre- and post-separation, can you know how to describe and narrate its harms. Unchecked coercive control can result in the abusive parent gaining and maintaining control over you and your child, including increased or full custody.
Because coercive control is such a new legal concept in the US, most legal professionals may understand the legal definition, but have not yet developed the ability to identify or help their clients identify subtle patterns of non-physical abuse and the resulting harms to the safe parent and her children. Instead of relying on experts, lawyers, or coaches to identify the coercive control and create their narratives and arguments for them, the protective parent herself must be trained. This will not only save considerable costs, because the protective mother won’t need to keep paying their attorney to analyze ongoing coercive control, but will also result in far better and more accurate narratives. Only a protective parent truly understands what is at stake, and no one will work harder on her case.
Who this course is for:
● Women with a controlling current or former partner, who need to clearly understand the manipulation, abuse, and control so that they can leave or better protect themselves post-separation.
● Women who are “walking on eggshells,” frequently blamed and criticized, and whose abusive partners try to create a narrative of them being mentally ill or unstable.
● Mothers who are concerned about the other parent’s manipulative, controlling, and abusive behavior toward the children, the impacts on their children and their safety.
● Women whose current or former partners have damaged their sense of self-identity, psychological boundaries, ability to freely make choices without fearing the consequences, sabotaged their work/careers/finances, isolated them, or tried to prevent them from leaving.
● Mothers whose children are being turned against them, yet they may be accused of “parental alienation.”
● Mothers who need to understand coercive control in order to more effectively protect themselves and their children, and to present clear narratives in Family Court.
Course details:
The course is taught live over Zoom and will not be recorded for safety purposes. A portion of the fee for the training goes towards funding coercive control research, education, and advocacy efforts. Participants who purchase the 12-hour course, for the equivalent cost of hiring a lawyer for an hour or two, will gain a solid, practical, and detailed foundation in coercive control that they can then use to educate, advocate, protect, and heal.
What are the class dates?
(Tuesdays) October 21, October 28, November 4, November 11, November 18
How do I sign up for the training? Click on the button here or below the course description to join. You will be asked to provide some background information which will help me to customize the classes, and to keep the course a safe and empowering space for the participants. Please check the hours for each day as they may differ. I will send the zoom link to participants ahead of time before each day of training.
Summary of Class Dates/Times
Class 1: Coercive Control over the Protective Parent
October 21 Tuesday 10-2pm EST
Class 2 : How Abusive Parents Manipulate Systems and Discredit and Silence Protective Parents
October 28 Tuesday 10-1 pm EST
Class 3: Coercive Control over Children
November 4 Tuesday 10-2pm EST
Class 4: Intro to Challenging Coercive Control Workbook
November 11 Tuesday 11-12 noon EST
Class 5: Q&A and Workbook Review
November 18 Tuesday 11-12 noon EST
Detailed Class Schedule
Class 1: Coercive Control over the Protective Parent
October 21, Tuesday 10-2pm EST (1/2 hr lunch break)
This training will introduce you to the coercive control model, which explains an abusive parent’s motivation, and all their seemingly confusing and contradictory abusive and controlling behavior.
You will learn about how and why abusive parents use tactics of coercive control to disguise their abuse; victim-blame; harm the survivors; erode their independence, sense of safety, and self-identity; coerce them into changing their behavior; remove resources that would help them escape the relationship; and damage the protective parent’s ability to recognize the abuse for what it is. We will study the most common forms of coercive control over women and how they work, in order to help you identify and describe them.
Class 2: How Abusive Parents Manipulate Systems and Discredit and Silence Protective Parents
October 28, Tuesday 10-1 pm EST (3 hrs)
This class will help you to understand the bigger picture, and how an abusive parent uses tactics to discredit and silence the protective parent within systems such as the Court or schools. We will study these tactics, which include allegations of DARVO and parental alienation, and the use of gender bias and a protective parent’s own trauma responses.
Participants will learn how abusers are often “invisible” to the systems while they blame their victims, which not only allows the abuse to continue unchecked but elevates the risk of losing custody. Understanding these abusive tactics will help to identify and reframe them as part of your narrative.
I have extended this session so we can have Isabel Zhang as a guest speaker. She is an anger management specialist, lecturer, and educator who works with children to build confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence. It is these very skills that help them tell the difference between guidance and control, to resist manipulation and blame, and to grow up with a strong sense of self. She’s also teaching a Fall program for 4th and 5th graders, both virtual and in-person in Wayland. We should have 1/2 hr. for Q&A.
Class 3: Coercive Control over Children
November 4, Tuesday 10-2pm EST (1/2 hr lunch break)
For this class, we will study how an abusive parent’s tactics are used against the children, both pre- and post-separation. We will also look at how psychological abuse and undermining parent-child relations work, which includes attempts to ally the children with the abuser.
Participants will learn about signs of children’s trauma, the risks that the abuser presents, and aspects of law pertinent to custody and coercive control. Finally, we will explore ways to support children who experience coercive control.
Class 4: Intro to Challenging Coercive Control Workbook
November 11, Tuesday 11-12noon EST (1 hour)
This class will introduce the workbook, a valuable resource, which you can use to identify and pull together your experiences of coercive control. There are guiding questions to help you think through each form of control, sections for you to create narratives for yourself and your children, and additional sections to help you strategize and think through DARVO attempts to silence you in different venues. After the class, you will be sent the workbook.
Class 5: Q&A and Workbook Review
November 18, Tuesday 11-12 noon EST (1 hour)
After you have completed the four classes and had the opportunity to start working through the toolkit, we will meet a final time to talk through any questions you have, and how you have applied what you have learned.
Course Fee: $599
A 2-Part Workshop on Translating Coercive Control into Compelling Evidence for Family Court
Instructor: Courtney Gilmartin, Founder of Monarch Consulting Group
Dates: December 2 and December 6 or 7 (depending on participant availability)
Workshop Description: You've learned how to identify the patterns of coercive control. The critical next step is to translate that knowledge into compelling evidence that will be impactful in family court.
This two-part, hands-on workshop is designed to do just that. You will learn how to transform your lived experiences into a clear, organized, and compelling case file using The Monarch Method™. Abusers thrive on chaos and seek to destabilize you throughout the court process; this method provides the ultimate antidote, creating a solid foundation built on indisputable evidence that grounds your case in facts, not fear. This foundation becomes your anchor, allowing you to pivot quickly in any scenario, systematically refute the abuser's false allegations, and remain emotionally stable while they try to destabilize you during co-parenting. We will move beyond simply listing events and instead focus on strategically documenting the perpetrator's actions and their direct impact on your family, highlighting patterns of behavior.
The goal is to reduce your stress and legal costs, while empowering you to take back control of your narrative with facts, evidence, and clarity.
This workshop is for protective parents who are:
Struggling with the reality of co-parenting with an abuser.
Preparing for or currently involved in family court proceedings.
Feeling like their lived experiences are being dismissed because they lack "physical evidence" of abuse.
Facing an onslaught of false allegations and a narrative designed to blame and discredit them (a tactic used by perpetrators known as DARVO).
Navigating the confusing and often invisible nature of post-separation abuse, which uses different tactics but has the same goal of control.
Looking for a strategic system to document the patterns of coercive control and domestic abuse effectively.
In this 2-part workshop, you will learn to:
Translate your lived experiences of coercive control, and post separation abuse into a powerful, evidence-based narrative that is impactful in the family court arena.
Counteract false allegations (DARVO) with an organized, factual timeline that grounds your case in truth.
Streamline your legal process by working more efficiently with your attorney, reducing legal costs.
Create a sustainable documentation system that reduces your cognitive load and frees up your mental and emotional energy.
Shift the narrative to focus on the perpetrator’s pattern of behavior and its devastating impact on the family.
Write strong, objective statements that avoid jargon and focus on specific, observable actions.
Communicate more strategically, both in co-parenting exchanges and with various legal professionals involved in your case.
Build a centralized "Case Hub" to organize all court filings, evidence, and reportable incidents in one place.
Apply the A.I.D. Method™ (Action, Impact, Documentation) to transform lived experiences into compelling evidence.
What You'll Walk Away With:
A ready-to-use strategic documentation template to immediately bring order to your evidence and communications.
A Strategic Documentation Guide packed with checklists and court-ready language prompts.
The skill to confidently write powerful, court-ready incident reports using the A.I.D. Method™.
Proven strategies to counter false allegations (DARVO) with a clear, factual timeline supported by evidence.
A profound sense of clarity, confidence, and control over your narrative and legal journey.
Workshop Structure & Format: This module consists of two live 60-90-minute virtual sessions, with time for Q&A.
Session 1: The Strategic Framework: We will cover the foundational principles of effective documentation, from the language of the court to building your case hub.
Session 2: The Documentation Lab: A hands-on working session where you will apply the methods learned in session 1 to your own examples and receive live feedback and work through sample scenarios.
Session 1: The Strategic Framework
Session Goal: To build the foundational mindset, strategy, and tools you need to transform your experience into undeniable evidence for family court.
Introduction: Now you know how to identify the patterns of coercive control. Now, it's time to translate that knowledge into compelling evidence. Family court wasn't designed to see the slow, corrosive pattern of your experience; it often looks for a single "smoking gun" incident, not a death by a thousand cuts. This systemic flaw is the abuser's greatest weapon, leaving you feeling unheard and isolated.
This session provides the framework to make the invisible, visible. We will introduce The Monarch Method™, a strategic system designed to counteract the court's blind spots by forcing the focus back where it belongs: on the perpetrator’s pattern of behavior and its direct impact on your children.
Session Agenda & Modules
1. The Mindset: From Survivor to Factual Reporter
We'll begin with the crucial psychological shift needed to document events objectively and consistently. You will learn how to report the facts without reliving the trauma, preserving your emotional energy and establishing your credibility.
2. The Philosophy: A Strategic Paradigm Shift
Next, we'll cover the three core principles that give The Monarch Method™ its power. Understanding this "why" is key to implementing the "how."
Shift the Focus to the Perpetrator's Actions: Instead of defending yourself, you will learn to build an undeniable record of the perpetrator’s choices. The method is engineered to center them as the active agent in every incident.
Make the Invisible Harm to Children Visible: You will learn to draw a clear, evidence-based line from the perpetrator’s actions (financial abuse, harassment, co-parenting chaos) to the specific emotional, developmental, and practical harm it causes your children.
Transform Yourself into an Empowered Partner: This system is the antidote to the abuser's chaos. By becoming the most organized and prepared party in your case, you build credibility and prove that you are the source of stability. This is where the principle of "less is more" is critical. A mountain of disorganized evidence can be just as ineffective as no evidence at all. Our method teaches you how to streamline your documentation into a concise, powerful narrative that respects the court's time and makes the abuser's pattern of behavior impossible to ignore.
3. The Language: Speaking the Court's Language
Words matter. We will break down the critical difference between subjective (emotional) language and objective (factual) language. You'll get a "Word Swap" list to help you describe events in a way the court can hear and accept.
Example: Swap "He was enraged" with "He clenched his fists, his voice was raised, and he called me 'x,y,z.'"
4. The System: Building Your Case Hub
This is where strategy becomes reality. In a live walk-through, you'll learn how to set up your central "Case Hub", a streamlined, secure, and impeccably organized digital filing system.
5. The Tool: Introducing the A.I.D. Method™
Finally, we'll introduce the engine of your documentation system: the A.I.D. (Action, Impact, Documentation) Method™. We will break down each component, setting the stage for our hands-on lab in Session 2.
Session 2: The Documentation Lab ✍️
Warm-up: Start with a simple, non-triggering scenario for everyone to document together using the A.I.D. Method™ (e.g., a missed pickup or a hostile email).
Breakout Rooms (Optional): If the group is large enough, small breakout rooms can provide a safer space for participants to practice with their own (or provided) scenarios and get peer feedback.
Live Feedback ("Hot Seat"): Invite 2-3 volunteers to share a drafted A.I.D. report (with personal details changed) and provide live, constructive feedback on how to strengthen it. This is often the most valuable part of a workshop.
Scenario Challenges: Present the group with common, difficult-to-document scenarios and brainstorm how to capture them.
Scenario 1: Financial abuse (e.g., withholding support payments).
Scenario 2: Abusive language during a child exchange.
Scenario 3: Using children to relay threatening messages.
## Example Application: The A.I.D. Method™
You could use an example like this in your promotional materials or during the class to make the concept crystal clear.
The Event: The co-parent is 30 minutes late for the custody exchange and yells at you in front of the kids.
❌ Before: A Typical, Emotional Note
"He was late again today for pickup, which he always is. He's so disrespectful of my time. He started yelling at me when he finally showed up and the kids got really upset. I'm so sick of this."
✅ After: Using the A.I.D. Method™
Action: "On Wednesday, 8/27/25, Father was 32 minutes late for the scheduled 6:00 PM custody exchange. Upon arrival at 6:32 PM, he stated in a raised voice, 'You always have a problem, don't you? This is your fault.' This occurred on the front porch, in the presence of our children, Jane (8) and John (6)."
Impact: "The delay caused the children to be late for their dinner and evening routine. Both children appeared visibly distressed; Jane began to cry and John hid behind my leg. The verbal attack felt intimidating and undermined my parental authority in front of the children, which is a recurring pattern."
Documentation: "Saved screenshot of our text messages confirming the 6:00 PM exchange time (Exhibit A). Saved Ring camera footage of the exchange from 6:32 PM (Exhibit B). I took a private journal entry detailing the children's reactions immediately afterward (Exhibit C)."