Coercive Control Course
Taking Mei-Ling’s course was a transformative experience. As both a survivor and someone who works professionally with protective mothers navigating the legal system, this training was not only validating personally—it was empowering professionally.
The course helped me put a name to many of the tactics I experienced and have witnessed in my clients’ cases. Coercive control is often invisible to outsiders and difficult to articulate, especially in court. Mei-Ling’s training broke these dynamics down in a way that was accessible, evidence-based, and practical.
One of the biggest takeaways for me was realizing how many victims struggle to describe their abuse simply because they don’t have the language or framework. This training made it clear how vital it is to give survivors tools to name their experiences. The toolkit workbook is equally impactful—structured, easy to follow, and trauma-informed.
I would highly recommend this training to any protective mother, advocate, or professional working in family court system. This training is something that I believe can change how coercive control is recognized, understood, and ultimately addressed in legal proceedings— C.G.
Testimonials
“I recently had the opportunity to take Mei-Ling Ellerman’s course on coercive control, and I cannot recommend it enough for survivors of domestic violence.
This course is incredibly insightful, breaking down the complexities of coercive control in a way that is both educational and empowering. Mei-Ling’s expertise and compassionate approach provide a safe space to understand the patterns of abuse that often go unnoticed but have lasting impacts.
For survivors, this course is not just informative it’s validating. It sheds light on the psychological and emotional aspects of abuse, helping individuals recognize the signs and reclaim their power. Most importantly, it highlights the significance of the new coercive control law, which is a critical step in protecting survivors from further violence and holding abusers accountable.
If you or someone you know has experienced domestic violence, I highly recommend taking this course. The knowledge gained here can truly be life-changing. Thank you, Mei-Ling, for your dedication to advocating for and educating survivors!” --N
This workshop is filled with concise, clear material that helped me with personal healing, as well as, strategizing boundaries for myself as I limit my relationship with my ex/ the father of my children. Mei-Ling’s compilation of material reflects hours of her work and was compelling for waking me from my stupor that “it is fine” or “not so bad.” Please take this course. It’s important for us to wake up to the power inequality that has produced coercive control in the toolbox of too many domestic relationships. I needed this course and am still digesting all that I learned!” --J.
The coercive control training was worthwhile for me. It validated a lot of what I've been through and helped me pick up on behaviors that I didn't realize fit into the larger pattern. It also put new things on my radar, especially about what my children have gone through, and offered concrete ways to support their healing and build skills around critical thinking. Some of the material is heavy and it takes something out of you to go that deep, but Mei-Ling delivers it in a calm, clear way, which helped. I learned some tips on how to use what I learned to frame my narrative for court. Mei-Ling is very organized and well researched and I have already been referring back to the slides she prepared. She is responsive to participants' contributions, requests for what to cover in the training, and even requests outside of the training. I admire her using her skill set to contribute to the evidence base around coercive control so that there will be more recent publications for women to cite. --A
Course on Coercive Control for Women
Course Description
Dr. Ellerman, coercive control expert, legislative advocate, and Brandeis University researcher on domestic abuse and coercive control designed this 5-class course to rapidly teach women about coercive control.
You will learn how to:
● Put a name to and identify the tactics the abusive parent has used against you and the children since the start of the relationship. This will help you to create a firm psychological boundary, so you don’t need to wonder about the other parent’s motivations and intentions, or whether you are at all to blame. This will create clarity, and cut down on the psychological stress and trauma.
● Identify a large range of trauma symptoms and responses for both adults and children, which demonstrate the harmful impact of coercive control.
● Understand coercive control over the children, which is frequently insidious, escalates post-separation, and isolates the children from their protective parent. This approach is also used to control the mother post-separation and keep her from being able to fully advocate for herself and the children.
● Understand the big picture, how an abusive parent changes tactics post-separation, gaining influence and credibility in different venues such as Family Court or the schools so that their false narrative is believed. This will help you to plan counter-strategies and regain your voice.
● Understand DARVO and other approaches that are used to isolate and disempower you.
● Create a clear narrative of your and your children’s experiences, which can be adapted to help protect them in different situations, with the help of the Workbook.
Knowledge is power, and only by gaining a thorough understanding of coercive control and its impacts pre- and post-separation, can you know how to describe and narrate its harms. Unchecked coercive control can result in the abusive parent gaining and maintaining control over you and your child, including increased or full custody.
Because coercive control is such a new legal concept in the US, most legal professionals may understand the legal definition, but have not yet developed the ability to identify or help their clients identify subtle patterns of non-physical abuse and the resulting harms to the safe parent and her children. Instead of relying on experts, lawyers, or coaches to identify the coercive control and create their narratives and arguments for them, the protective parent herself must be trained. This will not only save considerable costs, because the protective mother won’t need to keep paying their attorney to analyze ongoing coercive control, but will also result in far better and more accurate narratives. She can be the one to help the professionals working on her case. Only a protective parent truly understands what is at stake, and no one will work harder on her case.
Who this course is for:
● Women with a controlling current or former partner, who need to clearly understand the manipulation, abuse, and control so that they can leave or better protect themselves post-separation.
● Women who are “walking on eggshells,” frequently blamed and criticized, and whose abusive partners try to create a narrative of them being mentally ill or unstable.
● Mothers who are concerned about the other parent’s manipulative, controlling, and abusive behavior toward the children, the impacts on their children and their safety.
● Women whose current or former partners have damaged their sense of self-identity, psychological boundaries, ability to freely make choices without fearing the consequences, sabotaged their work/careers/finances, isolated them, or tried to prevent them from leaving.
● Mothers whose children are being turned against them, yet they may be accused of “parental alienation.”
● Mothers who need to understand coercive control in order to more effectively protect themselves and their children, and to present clear narratives in Family Court.
Course details:
The course is taught live over Zoom and will not be recorded for safety purposes. A portion of the fee for the training goes towards funding coercive control research, education, and advocacy efforts. Participants who purchase the 12-hour course, for the equivalent cost of hiring a lawyer for an hour or two, will gain a solid, practical, and detailed foundation in coercive control that they can then use to educate, advocate, protect, and heal.
What documents will the participants receive?
The Challenging Coercive Control Toolkit Workbook which retails for $69, is included for free
Detailed PPT slides from each class
List of forms of coercive control and examples
Exercises that we complete in class, which help you to think through coercive control
What are the class dates?
All Tuesdays, October 21, October 28, November 4, November 11, November 18
How do I sign up for the training? Click on the button below the course description to join the course. You will be asked to provide some background information which will help me to customize the classes, and to keep the course a safe and empowering space for the participants.
COURSE ON COERCIVE CONTROL FOR WOMEN
Please check the hours for each day as they may differ. I will send the zoom link to participants ahead of time before each day of training. Please also read the FAQS.
Summary of Class Dates/Times
Class 1: Coercive Control over the Protective Parent
October 21 Tuesday 10-2pm EST
Class 2 : How Abusive Parents Manipulate Systems and Discredit and Silence Protective Parents
October 28 Tuesday 10-12:30 pm EST
Class 3: Coercive Control over Children
November 4 Tuesday 10-2pm EST
Class 4: Intro to Challenging Coercive Control Workbook
November 11 Tuesday 11-12 noon EST
Class 5: Q&A and Workbook Review
November 18 Tuesday 11-12 noon EST
Detailed Class Schedule
Class 1: Coercive Control over the Protective Parent
October 21, Tuesday 10-2pm EST (1/2 hr lunch break)
This training will introduce you to the coercive control model, which explains an abusive parent’s motivation, and all their seemingly confusing and contradictory abusive and controlling behavior.
You will learn about how and why abusive parents use tactics of coercive control to disguise their abuse; victim-blame; harm the survivors; erode their independence, sense of safety, and self-identity; coerce them into changing their behavior; remove resources that would help them escape the relationship; and damage the protective parent’s ability to recognize the abuse for what it is. We will study the most common forms of coercive control over women and how they work, in order to help you identify and describe them.
Class 2: How Abusive Parents Manipulate Systems and Discredit and Silence Protective Parents
October 28, Tuesday 10-12:30 pm EST (2.5 hrs)
This class will help you to understand the bigger picture, and how an abusive parent uses tactics to discredit and silence the protective parent within systems such as the Court or schools. We will study these tactics, which include allegations of DARVO and parental alienation, and the use of gender bias and a protective parent’s own trauma responses.
Participants will learn how abusers are often “invisible” to the systems while they blame their victims, which not only allows the abuse to continue unchecked but elevates the risk of losing custody. Understanding these abusive tactics will help to identify and reframe them as part of your narrative.
Class 3: Coercive Control over Children
November 4, Tuesday 10-2pm EST (1/2 hr lunch break)
For this class, we will study how an abusive parent’s tactics are used against the children, both pre- and post-separation. We will also look at how psychological abuse and undermining parent-child relations work, which includes attempts to ally the children with the abuser.
Participants will learn about signs of children’s trauma, the risks that the abuser presents, and aspects of law pertinent to custody and coercive control. Finally, we will explore ways to support children who experience coercive control.
Class 4: Intro to Challenging Coercive Control Workbook
November 11, Tuesday 11-12noon EST (1 hour)
This class will introduce the workbook, a valuable resource, which you can use to identify and pull together your experiences of coercive control. There are guiding questions to help you think through each form of control, sections for you to create narratives for yourself and your children, and additional sections to help you strategize and think through DARVO attempts to silence you in different venues. After the class, you will be sent the workbook.
Class 5: Q&A and Workbook Review
November 18, Tuesday 11-12 noon EST (1 hour)
After you have completed the four classes and had the opportunity to start working through the toolkit, we will meet a final time to talk through any questions you have, and how you have applied what you have learned.
COURSE FEE: $599
Make an impact today
For every $100 in donations received, Challenging Coercive Control will donate one class spot to clients of homeless or domestic abuse shelters, or clients of domestic violence service providers. If you can help, please give the gift of knowledge and power.
FAQs for Coercive Control Course
Who is this course for? This course is for women, who are the majority of survivors of coercive control, but we also invite non-binary/genderqueer individuals and trans men to participate.
Safety: The course will be taught live for safety reasons, and will not be recorded. Each participant is asked to fill out a brief survey which will gather information about their interests and which will help screen out those who are not protective parents.
What have you done to make your course more accessible?
We offer a limited number of scholarships for survivors based on severe financial hardship, which is often a result of coercive control. Please write to me directly if you need a scholarship. We have also started a donation fund which can purchase spots for survivors living in shelters or working with domestic abuse service providers for $100 each.
How many courses will you offer this year?
Dr. Ellerman will likely teach 3-6 courses for women survivors over the next year, depending on the demands of her research and advocacy work. She is also planning to train attorneys, police departments, and school administrators.